Dinner Date Central!
My name is Shmoo the 5th, son of Shmoo the 4th. I live in Massachusetts and am very, very lonely. My penis is so big that I need to pay a small child named Paco to lug it around in a wheelbarrow when I go out. This intimates young women, but I hear sexy older women are into that sort of thing. You know cocks so big that you have to pay a small child to carry them around. I can actually use it to hammer in a railroad or break down a door. Sometimes I use it as a weight when I am working out. I am really attractive but very very very very very so very lonely. Call me, sugarpants!
I'm really desperate. Someone who doesn't live far away because I don't have a car and Paco gets tired easily.